Someone Please Tell Me What To Do With My Life

Greatness is born through strife. Be all you can be. That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Love is a battlefield.

BUT

Just be happy. Life is about the journey. Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

So which is it? Should I push myself to be the next Bill Gates, or should I slow down and smell the flowers? Is life about leaving your mark on history, or just the bare necessities?

This question genuinely perplexes me. I'm a pretty happy person. I have a job, a boyfriend, a place to live...I'm pretty freaking satisfied, and could see myself living quite contently as a regular person.

Then there's the part of me that knows I could be great. Not just great - amazing. I used to have a passion for acting, and when I was 10 years old I decided that no matter what it took, I would act, and I would be the best at it. Not content with wherever I happened to end up in the acting world, but the best.

I've since lost my verve for acting, but I have other passions. Writing, for one. I've also settled into a comfortable life. So I guess the question stands - "Is comfortable the goal, or the enemy?"

It's a pretty big question, so let's look at which course brings the greatest quantity of satisfaction:

The Path to Struggle City: always be hungry, never be complacent, achieve, achieve, achieve. Happiness is derived from succeeding and/or being better than your peers. This could happen on a daily basis, or a once in a lifetime basis. At the end of your life you can look back with pride and say "Look what I accomplished!" or at least "Look what I tried to accomplish!" You could become a leader, pioneer, or expert in your field, changing the course of history for all time.

The Path to Cuddle City: relax, savor the little things, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. Happiness is derived from what you do everyday naturally, although if you don't like your everyday life then that could be difficult. At the end of your life you can look back with satisfaction and say "Look at all the little moments I was happy, weren't they great!" You could become well-loved by friends, family, and your community.

Pretty evenly divided, don't you think? Most of the time, it comes down to personal preference and circumstance. Some people are born to compete. Some people are born to hate competition and instead invite everyone to their house for some brewskis. The tricky part is if you are a person who has become comfortable with their situation, but who wonders if there's more, and if it's worth going after. Movies tell you "go after it!" and therapists tell you "be happy with what you have!"

This isn't a question I will be able to answer this very minute. I think it takes more life experience, more trials and errors, to decide what you really want in life. Hell, there's probably another option that I haven't even considered yet. But it's important to think about because it affects my everyday choices now: do I write, or watch TV? Do I have drinks with this person, or hang out with my boyfriend?

Perhaps it is by savoring all the little things that I can become a pioneer, a leader in my field...

...nah, that's just crazy talk.

That's it, I'm naming my child Luna

Whether it's a boy or a girl.

Ok, probably only if it's a girl. For a girl to have a bi-sexual name (Sam, Alex, Chris) is cute, but for a boy to have a girl's name (Alice, Lucy, Snowflake) not so much.

And yes, this child would be named directly after Luna Lovegood, the blonde, dreamy-minded girl from the Harry Potter series. Why? Because she embodies all the traits I would like my future daughter to have:

1. She is really nice.

She doesn't say a mean word about anyone, but rather empathizes immediately with people when they're hurt or upset (when Harry's nose is smashed by Draco in book 6)

2. She's not afraid of what other people think.

Obviously. Radish earrings. Plimpies. Holding strong beliefs while not shitting on other people's thoughts is a virtue. I would, however, want my daughter to be a little bit better informed.

3. Her last name is "Lovegood" for a reason.

JK Rowling is not exactly subtle with her name choices (Expecto Patronum...) so when she names a character "Love + Good" they're obviously going to be awesome. Luna is incorruptible, well-meaning, and sweet to a fault. After her imprisonment in the dungeon of Malfoy Manor she's not bitter or hateful, just happy to see her friends.

4. My daughter will have blonde hair.

Not likely, since my hair is of the dark chocolate variety, but here's to hoping there's a blonde recessive gene in me somewhere.

5. She's a Harry Potter character.

Um, hello? Best books ever? When little Luna Zyck grows up she can proudly tell all her friends that she's named after an awesome character from a game-changing, and life-changing, book series and that her mother is an uber-dork. And because she's Luna she'll walk away proudly.

Photo credit: http://www.biliousworks.com/gallery/html/body_fanart_4.html

For Love or Money?

As an unpublished, unhired, before-you-were-a-twinkle-in-your-dad's-eye kind of writer, I have the freedom to write pretty much whatever I want. No pesky studios knocking on my door demanding my newest draft of SQUIDWOMAN III: SEX TENTACLES and no pressure to deliver a stunning sequel to my indie love hit TO DELILAH. So yeah. You could say that outside of my 11 hour work day, I'm free to write whatever I want. Wooo!

Here's the question: since I am creatively uninhibited by any pre-existing contract, do I anticipate the emergence of the SQUIDWOMAN series and write an exhilarating third part, which would obviously trump the disappointing sequel, or do I try to find the one idea that's never been written about lurking deep within my soul as an expression of my true creativity? (That last sentence wasn't supposed to make sense.) In other words, do I go commercial, or write what my soul tells me to?

For those of you not in The Industry, here's a quick rundown of commercial films vs. from the soul films:

Commercial:

Big budget

Fits a genre - "Action" or "RomCom"

Has a big star

Examples: Rocky, Saving Private Ryan, Arthur

From the Soul:

Independently financed/produced

Probably about someone's "journey"

Has established actors "showing their chops" or young unknowns trying to be the new "indie it girl/guy"

Example: The Squid and the Whale, Garden State, Precious

My first impression is that no one is going to make my script into a movie anyways, so why don't I just write something unique, from my life? A story about someone who has two cats who cuddle together and it's soooo cute...a story about someone who has a mom and a dad...Ok, well maybe not something from my life. Maybe, since the sky's the limit, I should write the idea that's never been written:

Ok, so what? So I don't have the perfect idea. Does that mean I should sacrifice my artistic ideals to manufacture a proven, formulaic script that doesn't break any ground?

YES! Yes it does. You see, as I outlined in the first sentence of this post, I am a new writer, which means I'm learning. And how do people learn? By copying the classics! You imitate the masters' brush strokes and signature moves in an effort to recreate one of their magnum opuses. If someone has nothing to compare your work to, it's harder for them to tell that it's good. However if you can do a perfect rendition of a classic, say the Hammertime dance, people will shut up and listen.

But doesn't this stifle creativity, you ask? NO! No it doesn't. The creativity comes from making an old hooker look like Megan Fox: taking a tried and true storyline and making it feel like a fresh, though recognizable, Hollywood movie. That's the challenge! To do what everyone has done before you, but better!

That's my advice to myself, which I could have just told myself in private but instead chose to write about on a blog, because nowadays all thinking must occur on the internet. I'm currently writing a romcom, a father/son dramedy and an animated thriller - all commercial enough to be recognizable but with my own voice shining through. And yes, this is just an excuse to use a picture of Megan Fox. Traffic is really going to pick up around here now!